The fun and excitement of the 2013 Vikings season continues.
Wait, we had that confused with something that’s even remotely exciting like paint drying, the clouds passing by, grass growing. All these things would trump this Purple season that was lost long ago.
Hold on, some clouds are rolling in…
OK, we’re back.
It isn’t pretty on the field, but the competition is heating up this cool November air in the Bring Me The News Vikings predictions.
Last week yielded some big winners, but three of the five that chose to predict picked Minnesota to win, including your commissioner of Purple preposterousness, Sports yes-man Mike Gallagher.
For shame, that Minneapolis South education failing him once again.
The two big brains, and we use that term extremely loosely, to predict the Vikings demise last week? Night sports guy Joe Nelson, and Sports Director G.R. Anderson.
They both predicted big wins for the Pack, and for that, they get big points. However, Anderson’s prediction of one-and-a-half sacks for Jared Allen not only didn’t come true, Allen didn’t even record a tackle against Green Bay, and then was almost traded.
All started by Mr. Anderson, astonishing the domino effect.
That will hurt, points will be docked, heads will be hanged, but not in the really terribly morbid way, just the confidence-losing way.
Mercifully, we hit the halfway point with this coming Sunday.
Here are your updated standings (last week’s score in parentheses):
Anderson: 2 (2)
Ziemer: -1 (2)
Hockert: -1 (-1)
Nelson: -3 (-6)
Perkins: -4 (-2)
Gallagher: -5 (-2)
Nelson out of the basement for the first time all year and charging hard, hitting three of the last four predictions, while Anderson is the only one in the black.
Dance predicting monkeys, dance!
Sports Director G.R. Anderson: Dallas 31, Vikings 17
“Dez Bryant will get flattened on the sidelines by one of his own teammates for simply spazzing out too much, and Jared Allen will sack Tony Romo three times. Other than that, I don’t see how the Vikings even have a chance in this one.”
That’s always fun.
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer: Vikings 27, Packers 23
“The question isn’t whether or not the Vikings will win or lose, its how much will they lose by. Not even Tony Romo can choke this one away, I like him to throw for 380 yards and three touchdowns. In order to decrease the amount of touches for Adrian Peterson, Bill Musgrave moves him to wide receiver where Christian Ponder can’t find him.”
That’s clever, Vikings wideouts tallied just 53 yards receiving last week.
Editor-in-Chief Amy Hockert: Takes fourth bye week in a row.
“Predicting? No.”
Morning sports voice Eric Perkins: BUSY.
Just because you’re interviewing Mikko Koivu, Adrian Peterson, Joe Mauer, and Kevin Love at the same time doesn’t give you the right…
OK, yes it does.
Night sports guy Joe Nelson: Cowboys 38, Vikings 20
Dez Bryant lines up wide left. Dez Bryant goes deep. Dez Bryant scores a touchdown. Dez Bryant does that four times and the Cowboys decimate the Vikings. Later that night on the flight back to the Twin Cities, Frazier has a bad dream in which the Vikings have just one win entering week 10 of the NFL season….oh wait.”
Thank you Joe, for your comically misleading remarks.
Sports yes-man Mike Gallagher: Dallas 65, Vikings 0
“The Vikings defense gives up nine consecutive touchdowns to start the game, as they relive their performance against Green Bay last week in which they gave up eight consecutive scores to start the contest. This time, instead of the clock saving them, as it did on the Packers last drive last week, the only one in which they didn’t score, Dallas kicks a field goal on the last play of the game. Why? Because Jerry Jones is senile and insane and commands it. Dallas scores on every possession, with the only miscue coming on a Tony Romo bobbled snap on an extra point that will haunt him the rest of the season and lead to the Cowboys finishing the year with seven consecutive losses after beating the Vikings Sunday.”
Stay away from bridges and tall buildings Sunday Purple faithful, and enjoy the rest of your weekend.
