It’s about that time.
With the Vikings season surely over, and the NFL regular season reaching its twilight as well, it’s time for heads to roll.
They may roll on the Vikings coaching staff, they may roll on the roster, they may roll in the front office, but in the more immediate, they will roll in the predictions.
The rest of the season will be an elimination-style survivor tournament that will leave one man, or woman, standing at the end of the year.
OK, spoiler alert, it won’t be a woman, as Amy Hockert is the first to be eliminated.
We were pulling for Amy, but her failure to actually do any ACTUAL predicting in five of the past six weeks did her in, and the field is reduced to five.
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer and night sports guy Joe Nelson both nailed it last week, predicting the Seahawks big, Nelson perfect on the point differential.
Morning sports voice Eric Perkins and sports yes-man Mike Gallagher continue to foolishly flail their fanatical fandom at the failing football the Vikings continue to play. They picked the Vikings is what we’re saying.
Poor form, at least Perkins has an excuse, he has other things to do, Gallagher undoubtedly spent countless hours devising the prediction.
Well, if you can laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
Here is where our predictors stand after last week’s Vikings loss to the Seahawks.
STANDINGS (with last week’s scores in parentheses):
Ziemer:12 (10)
Nelson: 4 (-3)
Anderson: 3 (3)
Hockert: ELIMINATED
Perkins: -5 (-3)
Gallagher: -8 (-5)
Eliminated Hockert still in better position than Gallagher and Perkins, simply stunning.
On to the action.
Sports Director G.R. Anderson: On the verge of elimination
Really, the only thing you have to do to stay in this competition until the end is predict. You don’t have to be good, you just have to show up, like a backup goalie or vice president. Anderson hasn’t done that, so the word has been spread, that without a prediction, he and his third place score will be on the chopping block. The law has been put to sleep, gone night-night, or been laid down, whatever that saying is.
Morning sports voice Eric Perkins:Knows he is safe, will not predict
In a sudden twist of fate, Perkins has caught word that even without a prediction, he will be safe through this week because of the teetering fate of Anderson. One of the first predictions Perkins has not made, he opts for an interesting turn of strategy, crafty #teamperk.
I appreciate it Sir #TeamPerk pic.twitter.com/vGS0BxEoA3
— Eric Perkins (@PerkatPlay) November 22, 2013
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer: Vikings 16, Packers 13
“Without Aaron Rodgers the Packers look a lot like the Vikings. Expect more interceptions than touchdown passes in this one, Scott Tolzien makes his second straight start for the Packers, who are just hoping their beloved A-Rod can return on Thanksgiving Day. I like Cordarrelle Patterson to give the Vikings their only touchdown of the game on a kick return. Upset alert, the Vikings pick up win number 3.”
Cue cross-sport reference with The Franchise back in town tonight.
Night sports guy Joe Nelson: Packers 31, Vikings 13
“Scott Tolzien will win NFC Offensive Player of the Week after he throws for nearly 400 yards and three touchdowns. The game will finally put a legitimate stamp of disapproval on Christian Ponder and offensive coordinator Bill Musgrave.”
Sports yes-man Mike Gallagher: Vikings 27, Packers 10
“I need to make up a lot of points, and Ziemer picked Vikings close, Joe picked Green Bay big, so what’s left? A massive win for the Purple that will see Christian Ponder throw for four touchdowns and Blair Walsh miss his second extra point of the season. Greg Jennings Lambeau leaps and is never seen again.”
Here’s the most all-encompassing Vikings-Packers highlight we could find to represent the weekend. It’s Favre, Jennings, a Travarias Jackson sighting, and a rejected Lambeau leap from Fred Smoot.
Has football folded in on itself after that highlight?
