You can’t make up what happened on the field last week in New York.
The headlines were even more ridiculous, and if you watched the whole thing, we hope you’re inching your way out of the deep depression you inevitably fell into.
Speaking of depression, for Sports Director G.R. Anderson and sports yes-man Mike Gallagher, its been a tough week.
They were the only two to believe in the Vikings on the road last week. Foolish to say the least, but it made both feel better when they heard male, and we’re guessing some female customers of a New York club will be able to watch Giants’ games at their favorite establishment on Sundays again.
Anything to help the greater good.
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer, morning sports voice Eric Perkins, and night sports guy Joe Nelson profited off the Vikings loss, making them the only ones involved with the Vikings to come out of last week’s game with a shred of dignity left.
Good work gentlemen, even this group of blind squirrels find nuts now and then.
As far as the second portion of the predictions, naming a thing that will happen during the game, none of you were even close. Painfully unclose in fact. Some of you may have been closer by saying Brett Favre would come back mid-game and strikeout Michael Jordan.
Here are your updated standings (last week’s score in parentheses):
Anderson: 2 (4)
Ziemer: 2 (1)
Hockert: -1 (-1)
Perkins: -2 (0)
Gallagher: -2 (1)
Nelson: -6 (-8)
Those barely-above-even point totals that lead the way should tell you how rough its been. Here are this week’s predictions, if you were hoping for an Amy Hockert prognostication, you will leave disappointed. She extends her deepest apologies maybe.
Also, here’s what happened the last time the two squads met.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLDGrg08NGQ
Sports Director G.R. Anderson: Packers 35, Vikings 17
“Jared Allen will register one-and-a-half sacks, Sharrif Floyd will not fumble.”
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer: Vikings 27, Packers 23
“The Vikings can’t lose the final Metrodome meeting with the Green Bay Packers. Christian Ponder returns to start at quarterback and after watching Josh Freeman’s play Monday night, the Viking fans rally to get behind their beloved No. 7 (after all he was the backup last week). Win or lose, just for fun, expect an injury for Ponder after the game, and Matt Cassel to start against Dallas.”
Editor-in-Chief Amy Hockert: Who cares.
“Gross.”
Morning sports voice Eric Perkins: Vikings 37, Packers 30
“Ponderiffic! The new and improved Vikings offense outmuscles the Packers for the borderiffic beauty. Josh Freeman is left scratching his head. Too soon?”
Night sports guy Joe Nelson: Packers 38, Vikings 17
“The Vikings won’t win this game. They failed to score an offensive touchdown against a Giants defense that was historically awful through six weeks. I’m embarrassed for any poor sap that believes the Vikings have a chance. Aaron Rodgers is beatable if the team he’s playing against has a good pass rush. The Vikings’ pass rush? Yeah… it doesn’t exist. Rodgers is going to go up and down the field like he’s trick or treating in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.”
Creepy, that doesn’t look fun at all.
Sports yes-man Mike Gallagher:Vikings 31, Packers 24
“The Vikings will win this game. They were absolutely horrific last week, but have an embarrassed and hungry Christian Ponder out for revenge against the coaching staff and all us non-Sam Ponders. Plus, I’m a poor sap and Joe Nelson feels bad for me. You can find me in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory giving out toothpaste to a trick-or-treating QB.
The Vikings will be Will Teadle to Rodgers’ John Rambo Sunday night.”
For those of you looking for a Halloween costume, perhaps you could dress as Donald Trump and go as Leslie Frazier after Sunday’s game.
