The Vikings have gone 3-13 twice in their history (1984 and 2011), never finishing worse. Then of course, the four Super Bowl losses and seemingly endless collapses in NFC Championship games are also lowlights.
There was the Love Boat in 2005, Dwight Smith fornicating in a Minneapolis stairwell in 2006 …
It’s nonstop around here. But have the Vikings ever witnessed a string of horrible luck like this year’s team?
I don’t know what it is but somebody’s really taken a piss on us this year.
Can we blame Blair Walsh? He’s the one who started rolling the 2016 snowball from hell when he shanked a 27-yard field goal to knock the Vikings out of the playoffs.
But this is a new season. And thank the heavens for summer because that’s the only break from football apocalypse the Vikings have had.
According to Vikings reporter Chris Tomasson, left guard Alex Boone literally said this: “I don’t know what it is but somebody’s really taken a piss on us this year.”
Here’s what we’ve been through:
- July 25: Phil Loadholt retires from Achilles pain.
- July 30: Mike Harris is placed on the non-football injury list with an illness.
- Aug. 30: John Sullivan is cut by the Vikings, never making it back from multiple back surgeries.
- Aug. 31: Teddy Bridgewater’s knee explodes during practice.
- Sept. 3: Vikes trade their 2017 first-round pick and 2018 fourth-round pick for Sam Bradford.
- Sept. 18: Adrian Peterson tears a meniscus against the Packers.
- Sept. 21: Matt Kalil is placed on injured reserve.
- Sept. 22: Sharrif Floyd has another knee surgery.
- Sept. 23: Adrian Peterson goes on injured reserve.
- Oct. 11: Andre Smith tears his triceps and goes on injured reserve.
- Oct. 31: Mike Zimmer, somehow, scratches his eye during a Halloween loss to Chicago.
- Nov. 1: Mike Zimmer has a procedure done to fix a torn retina.
- Nov. 2: Offensive coordinator Norv Turner up and quits.
- Nov. 7: Vikings lose fourth straight game, blowing it against Detroit.
- Nov. 8: Mike Zimmer gets more needles stuck in his eye for a second procedure.
- Nov. 13: Left tackle Jake Long tears his Achilles in the final moments of a loss to the Redskins.
- Nov. 15: Blair Walsh gets cut after missing more kicks.
- Nov. 24: Vikings ruin Thanksgiving with a critical loss to Detroit.
- Nov. 30: Mike Zimmer needs emergency surgery to take care of a detached retina.
This season, without a doubt, is a season from hell.
And it’s a miracle the Vikings are in playoff contention this late in the season.
