Beautiful day for outside football, which is why we’re in the Metrodome as the Browns take on the Vikings! Play along! Your comments welcome!
12:05 p.m.: Adrian Peterson with a first down, and Ponder to Greg Jennings for another.
12:07 pm: Another Minnesota Vikings first down.
12:08 pm: Ponder lofts one to a wide open John Carlson, and it gets deflected. Could been six!
12:09 pm: Whoa! the slowest touchdown in NFL history! Peterson in fox six! Dude will not go down. PAT is good, VIKINGS UP 7-0 with 9 minutes left in the first quarter.
12:12 pm: Okay, this seems like a good time to admit that I picked the Browns to win this game – well, “win” is probably a strong word, but I did feel a purple loss.
I’ve had Nirvana songs running through my head for the last two days, and we all know how that ended up. I took it as a bad sign. You know, they never play Nirvana at NFL games.
12:13 pm: Walsh kicks off for yet another touchback! That’s exactly 11, 243 in this young NFL season.
12:15: Hello, Cleveland! The Brian Hoyer era has begun with a dropped pass!
12:17: And on 3-and-9, Hoyer thorws it to …. no one! Makes Ponder look good already.
12:19: How many cans of Miller Lite does it take to reach the top of Big Ben? 796 cans! This is what we learned in the Dome just now. Somehow, now, Nan is going to Cancun. Not to London to see the Vikings next week, but Cancun. Do they play football in Cancun? There is no Big Ben in Cancun.
12:20: What was that? A bomb downfield to Cordarrelle Patterson! Incomplete, but Ponder is looking dangerously like a starting NFL QB today. Look out, Ponder hatas!
12:24: Browns ball, they are somewhat on the move. I hate to bring up this Nirvana thing again, but whatever happened to France Bean Cobain? Poor kid, growing up like that.
Oh, wait, here she is:
Not a train wreck at all! Good, job, kid! We’re all pullin’ for ya.
12:28: Hoyer to Gordon for a 47-yard six. PAT GOOD, BROWNS TIE IT AT SEVENS.
12:32: Ponder throws an incompletion and the boo-bird are out. Terrible series for the Vikes.
12:33: Come to think about it, it’s been a while since we checked in with Courtney Love …
12:35: Hey, she looks totally different. And if you cover one half of her face with your finger, and then move it over to the other side of her face, it looks like two different people! Neat trick.
12:38 pm: The Browns are putting together a professional football team type of drive. First and 10 on the Minnesota 40.
12:39: End of a fast and furious 1st quarter.
12:40: Brian Hoyer is 7/10 for 105 yards and a touchdown. Make that two touchdowns. Hoyer to TD Gary Barnidge from 19 yards out, Cleveland goes ahead 14-7.
12:44: “Shook me All Night Long” into “Start Me Up” at the Dome. What Nirvana song would fit in here? “I Hate Myself and Want to Die?“
12:45: Another touchback, pigskin fans!
12: 48: Ponder to Cordarrelle Patterson into “The Target Red Zone” at “Mall of America Field.” Note to coach: Use him. More.
12:49: Ponder to PEterson for three yards. First and goal. Do you think they’ll give it to AP? Yes, they do, for a one-yard gain.
12:50: PONDER ON A QB DRAW FROM THE SIX FOR SIX! PAT GOOD, TIES GAME AT 14.
12:55: FROM BMTN SUPER SPORTS GUY JOE NELSON: Vikings DB Chris Cook has injured his groin, which could be a big blow to the Vikings if they have to rely on Marcus Sherels. WR Josh Gordon is giving them fits.
1:00 pm: 3rd-and 8 for the Browns gains six, FOURTH DOWN BRINGS A 38-YARD FIELD GOAL FOR THE BROWNS, 17-14 WITH 6:07. NINE PLAYS, 55YARDS.
1:04: An actual kick return! Patterson for 31 yards out to the 27.
1:05: Before that kick off the music in the house was some god-awful mash up of a dance tune and “Crazy Train.” Wouldn’t “Teen Spirit” by Nirvana work better? Oh, well, whatever. Nevermind.
No, not that “Teen Spirit”! This one …
1:07: Ponder has hit six different receivers. Make that seven as he throws a pick to Cleveland’s T.J Ward. Borowns ball on the Minnesota 38.
1:12: HOYER TO TE JORDAN CAMERON FOR SIX, PAT GOOD. THE LOUDEST BOOING I’VE HEARD IN THE DOME SINCE, WELL, LAST SEASON. CLEVELAND 24-14.
1:15: Seriously booing for Mr. Samantha Steele as he gets sack, then under-throws Jerome Simpson on a post pattern.
1:18: Vikings recover a punt! Longest completion of the day. LB Larry Dean was in the end zone, but the refs ruled him down. They keep showing the replay on the board, and every time the fans cheer like it’s a touchdown. Review …
In fact, the Vikings get an unsportsmanlike call for challenging an unchallengable play. Hey, Coach Frazier – know the rules yet?
1:22: There are some Viking Fns having a very Jerry Lundegaard moment right now …
1:24: Cheer up Viking fans, the never-dull, never-tedious half time show is just around the corner!
1:25: Blair Walsh BOOTS ONE TO MAKE IT 24-17 CLEVELAND.
1:29: Hoyer picked by Harrison Smith. Minnesota ball on the Cleveland 46.
1:33: Ponder to Toby Gerhart for nine yards put the Vikings in “The Target Red Zone.”
1:34: Half ends on a Ponder fumble/interception thing that was truly unique.
1:49: “I love the Metrodome concourses!” said no one ever.
1:50: That Big Thunder Viking/Conan Battle Music sounds really stupid when there’s a touchback. Cleveland ball on the 20 to start the 2nd HALF.
1:25: See, now, Zeppelin. “Immigrant Song.” That’s football rock right there. AAAHHHHEEEEEWWWWYYYYAAAAWWW-UHHHHHHH!
1:55 PM: CLEVELAND IS PUTTING TOGETHER A MATURE, THOUGHTFUL DRIVE AND chad greenway picks off hoyer. minesota ball on own 49.
1:56: Sorry about that CAPS lock thing … I was still getting the Led out.
1:57: Run-DMC? Really? Mad props to Vikings PA music dude. It *is* tricky, to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme,that’s right on time, sir.
1:59: Brown injured on AP fumble, Cleveland ball on own 37.
2:07: Today’s paid attendance is 63,672. And they all want refunds. Ponder hit Rudolph right in the hands for a drop. Vikings have to punt. It just turned hostile in here. In that passive-aggressive Minnesota way. The air is thick with self-loathing. Very dangerous.
2:11: Hey, Minnesota Vikings, you know what would go down real well right now? A nice quarterback sack. Make it so!
2:12: Saved by the sideline! Hoyer hit a wide open Gordown. Out of bounds. 4th down. VIKINGS BATT PASS AWAY, FIRST DOWN MINNESOTA.
2:13: Mr. Steele is truly getting booed now.
2:14: Oh, they’re chanting Cassel! I never thought in my life I would hear that. Look out ladies!
2:15 Cleveland now has four sacks, the Vikings have none.
2:20: VIKING LB ERIN HENDERSON PICKS A TIPPED PASS, VIKING BALL ON CLEVELAND 9.
2:22: A dropped pass by Joe Webb, a stuff of AP up the middle, and Ponder TAKES IT IN FOR SIX FROM THE NINE! PAT GOOD, TIE GAME AT 24.
2:25: And there’s your sack, Minnesota Viking fans!
https://twitter.com/sportsmn/status/381862521046462464
See that, sports fans? I tweeted, and then put it in this post! Pretty neat, huh? I’m also Facebooking the heck out of this blog, so you can see how much I care about you, Viking fans. With all apologies to Fred Smoot, 70 percent of the Vikings nation is covered by water, the rest is covered by GR.
2:33: Peterson up the middle for four yards. His longest today is nine yards.
2:39: BLAIR WALSH FIELD GOAL PUTS MINNESOTA AHEAD 27-24.
https://twitter.com/sportsmn/status/381867232126455810
2:51: Is is not cool to, like, tweet yourself like this? I fear I’m breaking some sort of social media etiquette, but MY EGO IS JUST THAT UNQUENCHABLE, PEOPLE.
2:53: Tis 7:11 left in this very memorable contest.
2:56: Big defensive series for the Vikings, and watch the clock wind down.
3:06: My goodness, the Vikings are going to lose this game. I’m starting to feel really bad about my prediction. You know, that one where I said Cleveland will win? Yeah, that one. I feel bad about that. Ok, no, actually I feel pretty good about it.
3:02: Wait a minute! The Browns have the ball back? How did that happen? Hoyer to Gordon underneath, giving them fits. Big 4th down completion.
3:10: THIRD-STRINGER HOYER TE CAMERON IN A REPLAY OF LAST WEEK, CLEVELAND GOES AHEAD 31-27.
3:15: There is not a single person in this stadium who thinks Ponder can throw a touchdown pass. Including him and his coaching staff …
3:19: And he did not prove them wrong.
3:20: THAT’S IT VIKING FANS, IF THERE ARE ANY OF YOU LEFT …
