For the umpteenth year in a row Deadspin’s Drew Magary is writing a series called “Why Your Team Sucks.”
The guest of honor in the series on Monday was the Minnesota Vikings, and Magary, an admitted fan of the Vikings, didn’t hold back when telling the world why he thinks they’ll be terrible this season.
Warning: reading Magary’s full article will require reading some foul language and insensitive thoughts.
Here’s what he thinks of the Vikings in general, especially after a disappointing loss:
“I can’t grieve for these losses anymore. I just sit there, shake my head, and turn the TV off. I’m not angry, or sad. I’m just blank. Vacant. This is what the Vikings have done to me. I am devoid of emotion. I am a soulless wasteland of a man.”
Magary also took a shot at Minnesotans:
“It is the Soccer Mom state. Minnesota is one giant Toyota Sequoia with happy stick figures on the back windshield, cutting you off at every highway merge.”
He continued:
“It is a hateful place, full of Stepford wives and mute husbands. You’ll find more personality in a crate of pickled fish.”
For the record, Magary’s job is write negative things about football teams. Reality, though, says the Vikings are one of the hottest picks to make the playoffs this season.
