The Minnesota State Fair is still a few weeks away, and the Minnesota Twins already have 10 mind-numbing, soul-sucking, here-we-go-again losses on the books in the 2013 baseball season.
The list is subjective, but let us review anyway:
1) Friday, April 12: Mets 16, Twins 5: Vance “The Vanimal” Worley gives up nine runs on seven hits, as he fails to get out of the second inning in a 34-degree Target Field meltdown.
2) Sunday, May 12: Orioles 6, Twins 0: Scott Diamond pitches into the sixth inning, but gives up three home runs, including a 2-run shot to Chris Davis in the first inning. Falling to 17-17, it would be the last time the Twins would (perhaps) taste .500 for the 2013 season.
3) Saturday, May 18: Red Sox 12, Twins 5: In his next start, Diamond surrenders three first-inning runs, giving up six, before he’s pulled in the fifth inning.
4) Friday, May 24: Detroit 6, Twins 0: Minnesota stretches its current losing streak to 10 games by managing just one hit against the Tigers’ Anibal Sanchez.
5) Friday, June 14: Detroit 4, Twins 0: Diamond cruises through five innings, but gives up a four spot in the sixth. Minnesota manages three hits against Rick Porcello.
6) Sunday, June 30: Royals 9, Twins 8: Down 5-1 early, the Twins rally to tie the game, 7-7 in the seventh. Jared Burton gives up the go-ahead run in the eighth. Twins lose, to kick off a fresh six-game losing streak.
7) Thursday, July 4: Yankees 9, Twins 5: Kyle Gibson gives up three runs in the first in this holiday dud at Target Field. Thousands seeking a to celebrate their independence in the heart of Minneapolis are handcuffed with this dog, as the Yankees got off to a “get me out of here” 9-1 lead.
8) Friday, July 12: Yankees 2, Twins 0: In a miserable, rain-delayed night in the Bronx, Minnesota loses its sixth-straight game (third big losing streak of the year) by leaving 10 men on base and going 0-for-12 with runners in scoring position.
9) Thursday, Aug. 1: Royals 7, Twins 2: Kansas City completes a sweep of the Twins at Target Field. It’s a Royal feat that hasn’t happened in Minnesota since Bill Clinton was in the White House. Aaron Hicks and Scott Diamond are sent to the minor leagues after the game.
10) Monday, Aug. 5: Royals 13, Twins 0: Infielder Jamey Carroll pitches a 1-2-3 bottom of the eighth inning for Minnesota in a laugher.
Bottom line: The next time you say to yourself, “Man, I wish Brad Radke hasn’t given up so many first-inning homers,” — slap yourself. Hard.
